Plan A, Plan B, What Plan?

When my alarm went off early on a recent Saturday morning, I was so tempted to stay in bed and miss my son, Ivan’s, morning race at his track meet. I began excusing myself by thinking how this was the first day in a long time that I could actually linger in bed, and not getting a very good night sleep made it that much more tempting to sleep in. I also had so much work to do but arranged to get back to that later in the day. The truth is, I haven’t been to any of Ivan’s indoor races this season as my schedule always seemed to conflict with his meets. Being there to support him was extremely important to me so I, well, stopped the mental chatter and got myself moving! Making our way uptown I noticed that it was actually a perfect day to be indoors as it was cold and windy outside. I felt good about dedicating most of my day to my son, especially because our time together had begun to decline rapidly ever since he became a teenager. I was acutely aware of this and soaked in every moment of our time together. He informed me not to be insulted if he didn’t speak to me on the way; his ipod had his attention. Insulted? No way! Tuning into my own ipod, I felt flattered that he had the courtesy to let me know not to take it personally. We arrived at The Armory in NYC well before his first race. I settled into my seat and began scanning my emails as Ivan went to check in. He soon came back only to say he had some bad news: his first race was pushed back four and a half hours later than scheduled. Add the hour and a half he needed to warm up and get ready for his race – a six more hours until race time. I sensed his disappointment, more for me than for him. Images of my bed came over me, but only for an instant. My son felt bad and told me that I could leave if I wanted to. I wasn’t going anywhere. I was there for the both of us now. Plan A didn’t work out so on to plan B. I would catch up on my never-ending list of emails while we waited. I felt quite satisfied with myself, even a bit smug knowing I was going with the flow. I very often share with my clients, especially my new and expectant moms, ‘Just when you think you’ve got a schedule down they change on you, so go with the flow.’ I wasn’t just talking the talk I was living it right now, only this new plan proved to have an unforeseen flaw. My blackberry was dying and I had no charger. This wasn’t possible. Oh, why did I get out of my warm, cozy bed this morning? I couldn’t just sit here for six more hours and do nothing! I adapted quickly with good old fashion paper, and with pen in hand, got to work. Ivan beat his personal best record on that day and I was there to see him in action. My work is important but my son ultimately comes first. I realized that by giving in to what I was basically trying to control, I gave space to go with the rhythm of the day. I was given the opportunity to be reminded of what, or who, is most important in my life. My beautiful boy, who is almost a man, needed to see through my actions that all of my “stuff” is secondary to him.